The Fruit of the Womb

God’s Heritage

Children are a heritage of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is His reward (Psalm 127:3).

Children are God’s heritage, an “allotment” (CLT[1]) entrusted to parents. By divine design the father is delegated with authority over them (cf. Joshua 24:15; I Timothy 3:4).

The father’s responsibility of trusteeship includes physical provision (I Timothy 5:8); education (Deuteronomy 6:6-9; 11:18-19; Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:4) and discipline[2] (Deuteronomy 8:5; Proverbs 3:12; 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:17); bringing them up “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

Children are in turn to honor their parents (Ephesians 6:1-3). This honor extends to older children providing and caring for their elderly parents (I Timothy 5:4); thus completing the cycle of life.

Time on earth is very limited; but with a skillful archer’s hand, fathers can aim their children into the future, where God’s heritage continues to soar to its intended target.

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth (Psalm 127:4).

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).

Clyde L. Pilkington, Jr.

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[1]Concordant Literal Translation

[2]Discipline is not so much something we do TO our children as it is something we do FOR them.

Inescapable Headship

The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.

Men and women attempt to conduct relationships in many different ways; but marriage remains God’s design. Society – even Christian society – may seek to simulate this relationship according to their own vain ideas, but this does not change or sway the divine purpose and plan of marriage in the slightest. In marriage husbands are the head. This is an inescapable headship. Whether one is a good head, or a bad one, they are nonetheless a head, and thus responsible for their headship to their Creator.

Modern, contemporary Christendom is quite embarrassed by this design. As a result it has embracemed the “advanced” worldly wisdom in its attempt to abandon the “out-of-date” headship role of the husband. This humanistic approach has attempted to reduce marriage to a mere human partnership. This is to no avail, however, because whether one honors God’s design or not, the design still remains.

Doug Wilson, in his foundational work, Reforming Marriage, addresses this paramount truth.

The Bible says the “husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.” Paul most emphatically does not say that husbands ought to be the heads of their wives. He says that they are. In this verse, the apostle is not telling us how marriage ought to function (that comes in the verses following). Rather, he is telling us what the marriage relationship between husband and wife is. Marriage is defined in part as the headship of a husband over a wife. In other words, without this headship, there is no marriage.

This does not mean that God gives no imperatives to the husband. In the verses following we find a very basic imperative indeed – husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church. But nowhere is the husband commanded to be a head to his wife. This is because he already is the head of his wife, by the very nature of marriage. If he does not love her, he is a poor head, but a head nonetheless.

Meditating on this is a very valuable thing for husbands to do. Because the husband is the head of the wife, he finds himself in a position of inescapable leadership. He cannot successfully refuse to lead. If he attempts to abdicate in some way, he may, through his rebellion, lead poorly, but no matter what he does, or where he goes, he does so as the head of his wife. This is how God designed marriage … If the husband is godly, then that dominance will not be harsh; it will be characterized by the same self-sacrificial love demonstrated by our Lord – Dominus – at the cross. If the husband tries to run away from his headship, that abdication will dominate the home. If he catches a plane to the other side of the country, and stays there, he will dominate in and by his absence. How many children have grown up in a home dominated by the empty chair at the table? If the marriage is one in which the wife “wears the pants,” the wimpiness of the husband is the most obvious thing about the marriage, creating a miserable marriage and home. His abdication dominates.1

The Husband’s Responsibility Illustrated

When a couple comes for marriage counseling, my operating assumption is always that the man is completely responsible for all the problems. Some may be inclined to react to this, but it is important to note that responsibility is not the same as guilt. If the woman has been unfaithful to her husband, of course she bears the guilt of her adultery. But, at the same time, he is responsible for it.

To illustrate, suppose a young sailor disobeys his orders and runs a ship aground in the middle of the night. The captain and the navigator were both asleep and had nothing to do with his irresponsible actions. Who is finally responsible? The captain and the navigator are responsible for the incident. They are career officers, and their careers are ruined. The young sailor was getting out of the Navy in six months anyway. It may strike many as being unfair, but it is indisputably the way God made the world. The sailor is guilty; the captain is responsible.”2

Clyde L. Pilkington, Jr.
© Daily Email Goodies™

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1 Douglas J. Wilson, Reforming Marriage, pp. 23-24.

2 Douglas J. Wilson, Reforming Marriage, pp. 32-33.

Heaven’s Embassy: The Divine Plan and Purpose of the Home

A Book by:

Clyde L. Pilkington, Jr.

The home is central to all of God’s dealings with man throughout the course of time. It is His Divine “institution” and “organization” upon the earth, and for the believer, it is the Embassy of Heaven.

An embassy is “the residence or office of an ambassador.” Since the believer is an ambassador of the Lord Jesus Christ (II Corinthians 5:14-21), his home is thus the Divine Embassy of heavenly ministry. Pauline ministry is centered in the homes of believers. This is even the true sphere of the Body of Christ, and for this reason our apostle speaks of the “church in your house.”

This book doesn’t focus upon the external specifics of the ministry of Heaven’s Embassy (such as hospitality); that will be saved for another volume. Instead, it looks at the inner-workings of the Embassy itself, focusing upon its very nature and internal purpose and function.

http://www.pilkingtonandsons.com/family.htm

Biblical Hospitality

… Given to hospitality (Romans 12:13; I Timothy 3:2).

The current idea of hospitality has been limited in our day to the idea of simply entertaining company. This, however, is not the idea being conveyed in the Bible, which carries with it the concept of using our homes as a ministry base to supply the needs of others.

Our word hospital, the root for hospitality, greatly helps us to understand the word better. A hospital is a place where those in need – those who are hurting, wounded and broken – go for aid in healing and recovery. The believer’s home is for more than the modern concept of “entertainment” – it is Heaven’s embassy of ministry, a place of comfort, rest and healing; a haven where weary souls are soothed, refreshed, consoled and calmed.

Interestingly enough, William Tyndale’s Bible translated “given to hospitality” as “diligently to harbor” (Romans 12:13). Now there is a rich, restful word – “harbor.” It is defined as:

a place of security and comfort – Merriam-Webster

any shelter or safe place – Wordsmyth

a place of refuge and comfort and security – Mnemonic

an asylum; a shelter; a place of safety from storms or danger – Webster’s 1828

The believer’s home is to be a place of security, comfort, safety and refuge to those who are hurting. It is a “sane”-asylum from an insane world; a shelter from the dangers of the storms of life – a heavenly respite, a divine breath of air.

Little wonder that the Bible in Basic English translates “given to hospitality” as “ready to take people into your houses.” Hospitality is love-in-action, as can be seen from the first part of Romans 12:13, which instructs its readers as to “distributing to the necessity of the saints.”

Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality (Romans 12:13).

Hospitality must be seen in the light of its context: distributing to necessities. Biblical hospitality, then, is not an act of mere “entertainment,” but rather the divine ministry of reaching out in love to others in need. Hospitality is more than coffee and a doughnut, or a dinner party. It is not a luxury, but a necessity. It will not be learned from Emily Post, Martha Stewart or Rachel Ray. It is learned from the Lord. Hospitality is the spiritual opening of our hearts that then extends to the opening of our lives and homes.

The Greek word for hospitality is philoxenia (Strong’s Greek Lexicon #5384),  which is a compound word: philos (#5384 meaning “dear” or “friendly”) and xenia (#3578 meaning “lodging” – so translated in Philemon :22). This compound word can be translated as “dear or friendly lodging.” It is about someone in need of a friend – and not just a friend, but a place of friendship – a place that is dear.

Just who might be in need of such a dear lodging-place? A single mother and her children; one struggling with addiction or depression; an abused or abandoned spouse; a hurting neighbor; a youth who has lost their way; a financially distraught couple; a desperately grieving widow; a child whose mother works nightshift; a rejected pregnant teenager; a broken-hearted divorcee; a lonely senior citizen; a mentally handicapped youth, etc.

Hospitality is not about the giving of one’s evening to another for “entertainment;” it is about the selfless life of Christ in us, giving of our life, time, home and resources to another in need. It is becoming a vessel of mercy; a conduit of our Father’s great love to those who are hurting.

Clyde L. Pilkington, Jr.
Daily Email Goodies
© 2010

When the Wife Asks for Counsel

There are many occasions when a wife is feeling distressed about some difficulty, and she comes to her husband and says, “What should I do?” An abdicating husband will tell her that he does not care and that she can do whatever she wants to do. But when a wife seeks counsel from her husband, she should always receive counsel. When she comes to her husband and asks for a decision, he should always make a decision …

Now a godly husband may decide, after taking his wife’s concerns into account, to do things “her way.” But in a godly home, as soon as he does this, it becomes his decision. He is entirely responsible for it. Once the decision is made, it is his decision.

Douglas Wilson
Reforming Marriage, pages 81-82

Husbandry: What It Means to Be a Husband

HUSBANDRY, n. The business of a farmer, comprehending agriculture or tillage of the ground, the raising, managing and fattening of cattle and other domestic animals, the management of the dairy and whatever the land produces.

HUSBAND, v.t. To till; to cultivate with good management. – Noah Webster, American Dictionary of the English Language (1828).

Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement (I Peter 3:6).

Unfortunately, many women are led (if it can be called leading) by men who believe themselves to be nothing more than walking, talking, living, breathing impositions. How many Christian women today … could imagine calling their husband lord with a straight face? Him? But a husband is one who cultivates with authority.

Now it goes without saying that this authority must be exercised by a man with a Christ-like disposition to service. He must not wield his authority in a self-seeking way. But he must wield it; he is a husband. It is tragic that in our culture the word husband is understood as nothing more than a male legally tied (for a few years) to a particular female; but as the etymology of the word should indicate, much more is involved. Husbandry is the careful management of resources – it is stewardship – and when someone undertakes to husband a wife, he must understand that it cannot be done unless he acts with authority.

He must act as though he has a right to be where he is. He is the lord of the garden, and he has been commanded by God to see to it that this garden bears much fruit. This cannot be accomplished by “hanging around” in the garden and being nice. The garden must be managed, and ruled, and kept, and tilled. For many husbands, this is an alien concept; they certainly spend all their time in the garden helping themselves to whatever fruit happens to grow, but they always have the furtive [cautious] look of someone guilty of criminal trespass … They are unsure of their right to be there, and pulling up weeds means that they have assumed responsibility for the state of the garden – he had better not do that. Such abdication [abandonment of ones authority] is an abdication of stewardship; it is the abdication of husbandry. And the wife is frustrated because she has a husband in name, but she does not have a husband.

Some men may object by saying that their wives demand to be left alone. All they are doing is respecting their wives’ wishes. There are two responses to this. One is that whether or not the wife has demanded to be left alone does not alter the fact that Christ has demanded that she not be left alone.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it (Ephesians 5:25).

The head of the woman is the man, the head of the man is Christ, and Christ has commanded husbands to imitate Him. This necessitates a love which does not walk away, or stand by.

Second, wives need to be led with a firm hand. They will often test their husbands in some area, and be deeply disappointed (and frustrated) if he gives in to her. It is crucial that a husband give his wife what the Bible says she needs, rather than what she says she needs.

So a godly husband is a godly lord. A woman who understands this biblical truth and calls a certain man her husband is also calling him lord [I Peter 3:6]. It is tragic that wholesale abdication on the part of modern men has made the idea of lordship in the home such a laughable thing. A man cannot get by with good intentions. He cannot get by with a pleasant demeanor. He cannot get by with a sweet disposition … In a world of spiritual eunuchs – one who is impotent in his masculinity – it is good to find a man who is more than simply male …

Many Christian men are nice guys, but they do not provide the strength of leadership that God requires and their wives need.

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God (I Corinthians 11:3).

Douglas Wilson
Reforming Marriage, pages 77-80

Suddenly Life Awoke

He looked at her. She looked at him. Suddenly life awoke.

Robert Browning (1812-1889)

The Submission of Wives and Daughters

The masculinist problem is that of seeing women generally having to submit to men generally. In contrast, the biblical pattern is that particular women are to be in submission to particular fathers and husbands. This prevents their submission to other men, which, considering some of the men out there, is a good thing. This means a particular noble woman could in many respects be the superior of a particular man …

My objection is that the masculinist position is just as unbiblical as the feminist position. Men who are not leaders in the home, where Scripture requires it, are commonly tempted to make up for this abdication elsewhere. This is sometimes found in the comfort of knowing that “men” have it over “women.” But this is no-cost authority.

Douglas Wilson
Federal Husband (1999), pages 64-67

The Patriarch’s Teaching Responsibility

It is the responsibility of the patriarch to teach his family the Scriptures. No one else has been given this responsibility, and it is a responsibility that he cannot delegate to others. He is the divinely appointed head of the home, and he alone is responsible for the spiritual welfare of those under his headship. This is a God-given responsibility that cannot be surrendered to anyone. This is a serious matter before God.

This, by the way, relates directly to the truth of “the church in thy house.” A home, which may include extended family and guests, led in ministry by the head of that home – the husband and father. As a general principle, other family men may from time to time be there – ideally on a learning basis, until they too can or will take on their own God-given family responsibility.

The primary teaching place is home. That is the standard of Scripture.

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

… The father to the children shall make known Thy truth (Isaiah 38:19).

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up (Deuteronomy 6:7).

And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home … (I Corinthians 14:35)

James Wesley Stivers, in his work, Restoring the Foundations (Patriarch’s Publishing House) writes concerning the truth of these verses,

Can a “pastor” do this for your family? Can your child’s Sunday School teacher? No. It is impossible. What God is describing in this text is a live-in spiritual tutor. One must live with the person he is discipling [training]. Jesus lived with His twelve disciples for three years. They ate and slept in His presence … All this talk about church discipleship is fantasy. So is the concept of home cell groups. These are phony substitutes.

There seems to be something lost in a relationship between a parent and a child, if it is the decision of the parent to commission a third party to provide biblical instruction and spiritual nurture to the child in his stead. I argue that it is a dereliction of duty … Parents are to disciple their children. It is an immutable part of the vocation of parenthood.

Stuck in Weekly Religious Tradition

We naturally suppose that the “institutional church” is the primary agent in proclaiming the Gospel and teaching the Word of God. That is the primary role assigned to the “church” in our day. But it has not always been so. In early America, as it was in the earliest church, the Christian home was the spiritual center …

It is impossible to provide the basis for Christian character and spiritual experience in one of two hours a week. Constant contact with a Christian leader is necessary. That is why the “discipleship movement” was so popular in recent years. It recognized the inadequacy of the “institutional church” to provide even the basic spiritual foundations in a persons life …

Some people believe, as I was prone at one time, that if one wishes to do anything for God, one must do it within the confines of the “church” apparatus – that God’s work is done primarily at “church.” Actually … the family is the chief agent for the passing-on of the Christian faith from generation to generation. …

Even the work of evangelism, once thought to be the principle purpose of the pulpit preacher, is better done through the home. The most effective evangelist, as many men and women with tender emotion admit, is that of a godly mother or father. Better than three-fourths of all conversions come through the work of family and friends …

It is a personal faith which must be transmitted, not an abstract and institutional one.

Clyde L. Pilkington, Jr.
Bible Student’s Notebook

Divine Sustainer

“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18).

This single verse from Genesis reveals to the observant student of Scripture the most amazing role of the wife to her husband. As we shall see, the significance of this passage, as well as the divine role that the Lord has give to the wife, is truly astounding.

The wife is her husband’s companion, helper, co-laborer, and assistant. Yet her largest and most significant role is that of sustainer. This is the heart of the matter concerning God’s use of the word “help.”

Eve was made – by divine design – to be Adam’s sustainer. A careful study of the Hebrew word for “help” is where we will learn the very core of who God made the woman to be. The Hebrew word is “ezer,” Strong’s Hebrew Lexicon #5828. Outside of the context of Eve, the word is used 19 more times in the Old Testament. Of these 19 times the vast majority (at least 16 of them) are a direct reference to one of God’s attributes. It is in these passages where we will gain our real understanding of this Hebrew word that is translated “help” here in Genesis chapter two.

One would notice from an examination of the passages that contain the word “ezer” in them, that God’s own role of “help” to Israel as defined by its usage is that of a rescuer, a deliverer, a life-saver – in a word, He is sustainer. His work in this regard is certainly no small matter. “Ezer” is a word that describes one who actively intervenes.

Robert Alter confirms what we learn from the usage of “ezer” in the Old Testament:

“‘Ezer’ elsewhere connotes active intervention on behalf of someone …” – Genesis: Translation and Commentary, W.W. Norton & Co. (1996).

That God would use the exact same word “help” as the description of the woman is very significant. God describes Eve with the very same word that He uses to describe Himself. He committed to her one of His attributes. He gave to her one of His very own roles, so that she may be to her husband a divine vessel of sustenance.

The wife has been designed by God Himself as her husband’s sustainer. She is not merely a “helper” in the sense that she just assists him in lifting the other end of his tool chest, or assists him in balancing the checkbook (although she may do these things). No, she is his divine helper, his divine sustainer, his divinely designed life-saver.

The husband’s sustenance actually comes from God Himself – He is his sustaining source – but God has divinely determined that His sustaining provision be supplied through the instrumentality of the wife. She is God’s chosen vessel of His sustenance to the husband. She provides her husband with divine sustenance. She has been given to her husband to be God’s channel of divine enablement to him, and since this is a role rooted in divine-life, she can only fulfill her design by living God’s life to her husband.

So, God’s design in the husband-wife relationship is ultimately a spiritual one. Thus for us today, husband and wife are the closest members of Christ’s body to each other.

“From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love” (Ephesians 4:16).

By God’s design, the husband-wife relationship is the very closest joint within the body of Christ. Who could be more “fitly joined together”? Thus there is an “effectual working” between the two of them, her being his designed sustainer – in the likeness of God’s very own role – and accordingly they are said to be “heirs together of the grace of life” (I Peter 3:7).

Clyde L. Pilkington, Jr.
Heaven’s Embassy: the Divine Plan and Purpose of the Home
Bible Student’s Press